Now I’m sure there are other little nudges (more on those later) than my ramblings on my bit of the blog, but on Friday I was requested to start preparing for the insertion of another window. Well I wasn’t waiting to be asked twice, so, after finding masonry chisel, lump hammer and prise bars (eventually, that garage is like a labyrinth) I make a start.

I’m the daughter of a stuff doer. His particularly annoying trait was being overly thorough. eg. Use six nails when only two will do, or use a five inch nail when an inch and half tack will do. Problem, my Dad had put our present windows in and he obviously didn’t want them to fall out! This will cause Stuff Doer some problems as we want to keep the old windows as intact as possible as we want to use them in the tree house that’s being planned for the woods.

So what should have probably taken an hour or so, 3 hours later, after much cursing of aforementioned dad, the old boxing and beading had been removed and we were ready for the old casement window removing..

Obviously not the next day. There’s other stuff to do, like getting a load of logs in from the woods, but hey, I’ve waited two years since the last window was put in so I’ll go and do some manual work and help get stocked up for winter (he’s not getting an excuse to play, sorry work in the woods tomorrow as well).

Saturday Night and he’s made some final tweaks ready for the next day. Now we’d already found out on Friday night/ Saturday morning that what we thought was a black dust sheet acted more like a net curtain with light behind it, so we carefully went to bed in the pitch dark (we don’t want to upset the neighbours) to be rudely awakened by the sun next morning.

The day had dawned. Progress was finally going to be made. He’s took some photos of the sash window installation and I’m sure he’ll be putting it on his blog shortly.

 Maybe my ramblings are going to be useful to me too.

I can't complain, MUCH, even though the front room has been taken over, it is progress

You’ll have seen from the DIY LOFT CONVERSION blog  that we had a slight sense of urgency due to not enough bedrooms ( or it could be that we had enough bedrooms and too many kids!). Now Stuff Doer was under pressure to get the loft conversion done (from the kids, he never knows when I’m turning the screw). Now he did decide that, as you can’t see the newel post from the main body of the house, that plain and simple would do and be the quickest option. Now, I haven’t waited for years for the loft conversion just to let something not be 100% how I want it for the sake of saving Stuff Doer a few hours work and some thinking time.

So, what to do? We all know our Stuff Doer is a bit pedantic, that’s why stuff takes so long to get done. But things getting done just how you want them (ie. The Right Way) is supposed to be our reward for all our tolerance and patience so we must appeal to this tendency of theirs and use it to our advantage.

In this particular situation I pointed out that, eventually, the loft conversion will become his study. I’ll get the extra living room back, and he’ll be walking past and touching this newel post for as long as he’s still working! Every time he walks past that newel a little bit of him will regret that ( for the sake of some Heath Robinson thinking and a couple of hours work) he didn’t do it properly in the first place.

Result? Holding up pieces of cardboard behind the original newel while a shadow is cast onto it to make the pattern, 14′ foot and bike inner tube powered lathe cobbled up in the garage and a few hours later what am I in possession of? Probably the first newel post turned on an un mechanised lathe in a couple of hundred years.

Turing a newel post with some basic equipment and lashed together lathe

The best of this method, is that you get what you want and your Stuff Doer is grateful that they were persuaded in the first place.

I can’t stress enough that, except in the odd extreme situation, you’re better off with a carrot than a stick. (more on extreme situations and how to deal with them later)

Living with a Stuff Doer is sometimes difficult for unexpected reasons.

Sometimes we want to do our own stuff. For a Stuff Doer this is sometimes a hard situation to accept. It’s OK when it’s stuff that you’ve always done, like making sure food comes out of the unfinished kitchen or that Christmas happens, but when it’s something that they quite like the sound of (stained glass making)  it’s a whole new kettle of  fish.

This is when we other halves have to be careful as Stuff Doers have there own little tricks to get their own way and get in on the action.

Now, if they were sophisticated, as we other halves are, they would be more successful. Stuff Doers have no patience. If they had they would wait to be asked for help and not sneakily elbow in and start doing stuff whilst you’re doing more research (at Stuff Doers suggestion) into YOUR project.

The stained glass is MY baby. What was particularly annoying was that I’m not proud, I can and will ask for help (let’s face it this is about how I get stuff done).

Part way through cutting coloured glass for a leaded glass window

So we come to the stained glass, the amount of time we’ve had the stuff ( ie. Coloured glass, lead came, glass cutters etc.) needed to create the panels and why they re still not done.

Now, obviously the Stuff Doer has muscled in at some point and I was Bl***y furious! Not only took over, but posting it on his blog (His posts on stained leaded glass making start here). So we have a delay while I refuse to have anything further to do with MY project (sometimes we other halves have to be stubborn).

Where we are now. Obviously the project is back on as Stuff Doer has backed off (he’ll now be able to put up his practical postings (Andy: thanks dear) ) and we’ve started cutting the actual coloured glass. Notice the WE, I’m not selfish and I’m more than happy to let Stuff Doer do the fiddly bits as the “nipping” of the glass goes through me a bit!

Right, we’ve already established that patience is our key weapon, carrots are nearly always better than sticks and that nagging is counterproductive BUT we all have our breaking points. Now, I don’t know what yours is, mine, I’m sure, will sound daft, but we all have our own little foibles, that’s what makes life interesting.

My breaking point is Christmas! Now I know that it sounds a bit daft that I can put up with 7 year trike builds and window waiting and not have hardly any patience if Christmas is involved.

Christmas is the one unarguable. For six weeks of the year Queen Christmas reigns. She has to, if I’m slogging my guts out from October onwards to make sure everyone has a good Christmas (including Stuff Doer who, in the main, Christmas just happens to) then it’s going to happen the right way (ie. My way).

Christmas has a routine, things have to be done. Family traditions have to be followed, old and new. If things don’t happen the right way Christmas will just not be the same and we will just not enjoy it so much.

This is when I found out that gentle requests building up to full on nagging just doesn’t work. The Christmas trees have to be up for the first of December (or at least the huge main one) in time for the kids coming down to open their advent calendars. Obviously cakes puddings and mincemeat have been made in October, so everything else doesn’t have much of a deadline as long as it gets done  (usually by me).

But Father Christmas needs at least a few days to sort out presents so letters have to be sent up the chimney by the 22^nd at the latest ( I don’t care how old the kids are, it has to be done as it always has been done). I had started asking for the computer desk to be moved from in front of the study fireplace (at the time the only working on in the house) for some few days. No joy, nagging commenced, still no joy. What to do? This called for extreme action, Christmas must happen at all costs.

Now, being a Victorian house, it would have had fireplaces in most rooms. I had a cast iron  one to install, but it wouldn’t be working as our room is above the old shop so we need to pinch this chimney for our front room (currently used as a storage depot for windows / panneling). But, we didn’t need to pinch it yet. I knew the front room was going to be one of the last ones done and we’d only been living here a couple of years by then.

Patience spent. I found the sledgehammer and opened up the old fireplace, enter Stuff Doer wanting to know what was happening. So I sent him out to check that the fairies were about and we burnt the children’s letters thereby making sure Father Christmas had plenty of time to organise his sleigh.

Needless to say it was a bit draughty for the next few weeks, but the fireplace was eventually installed and our bedroom finally decorated. I don’t advise that we lose our patience, this is normally the way to get stuff done, but even though we hardly use the front room for the rest of the year, it’s ALWAYS cleared of stuff by the end of November!

So, your Stuff Doer is doing sums to work out the quantities of wood needed to make your long awaited wooden sliding sashes. Now at the time the January sales were on. Strike at every given opportunity.

I’d already chosen the colour my new front door was going to be, but the Stuff Doer didn’t know he was making one yet, how to broach it?

Go to the local department store sale and buy a beautiful gold door wreath that will contrast perfectly with your new burgundy front door. It’s half price so you’re doing Stuff Doer a favour by saving him money.

So you get home, show off your beautiful new purchase, point out how much money you’ve saved and, because you’re so clever, you’re going to save even more as, if he orders the door wood along with the window wood, you’ll be saving on delivery charges.

Cue slightly bamboozled look, but there’s no argument in that situation. It becomes accepted that you’re getting a new front door and yes it would be daft not to order all the wood together.

Ta da! A new front door has slipped under the radar

Part of series on Techniques for Motivating Other People the way you want, without manipulating others or being devious…. Honest.  For more motivation tips and tricks see the “Stuff from the Other Half” category

Now I live with someone who does a lot of stuff. He does this stuff very well but he does so much of it that he is easily distracted by some other stuff that he is doing. This type of man is usually pedantic (more on this and how to use it to your advantage later in my ramblings on the loft conversion) so you know that everything is going to be done properly but sometimes slowly.

The key to living with someone who does so much stuff is patience (by the bucket load). We have to remember, we’re in this for the long haul and stuff will get done eventually.

The main thing is not to nag, this will invariably push partner to garage where they will tinker (they hate it when you call it playing) about with things that are not important. These are on the maybe section of THE LIST and are not a priority and the more opportunity / excuses you give them to play, sorry tinker, the nearer that particular stuff comes to reality and that makes them spend even more time doing the stuff that isn’t a priority. Nagging is counterproductive.

The easiest way to get stuff done is stoic acceptance. This is productive in various ways. People in conversation will mention the windows, you will then very proudly say what a fantastic job other half has done, and how quickly it’s all come together in the end. Ask them round to visit  the windows in the front room where they can see how many other half has managed to make. Then the visitor can see how much room they take up. If you’re lucky they’ll ask how on Earth you manage, this gives you the opportunity to smile serenely and comment that it’s your fault that we didn’t have plastic windows fitted by someone else years ago, and it’ll all be worth it in the end.

This strategy works in two ways. First it’s an eye opener. I no longer see my front room as it actually is. In fact the front room has been unusable for me for one reason or another (full of stuff) for about four years. Christmas being the exception, then I’m insistent that stuff gets spread around the rest of the house and garage for a month (except the paneling of course as it wont fit anywhere else). If I can ignore how the room looks, so can your partner who cares less.

Secondly guilt kicks in. As you’ve never nagged (remember it’s counterproductive) or moaned and have only ever been justly proud and supportive, other half feels that you deserve the extra bit of effort it takes them to finally finish the job. After all they’ve got it to do anyway and the Irishman’s not going to have a running engine any time soon. They’ll still win their £20 bet so it’s no skin off their nose.

So remember, stoic acceptance, resignation that sometimes some stuff takes a long while and patience. (I hope the PE teacher who once made me write ‘patience is a virtue I do not yet possess’ 200 times is still around to read this)

A holiday cottage in Whitby is on “THE LIST”. Said list is referred to on other parts of this site.

 The fabled list is actually a scruffy piece of paper held onto a tool shelf in the garage by a magnet/bottle opener. This list was compiled one night over a few drinks, hence it is a mixture of “doable” (if I’m prepared to wait long enough) the “maybe doable” (if all the right things fall into place at the right time) and the ”highly unlikely” (unless our numbers come up and I salute all the lone magpies in the right order).

On the “doable” list are the sliding sash windows (only a few years late) the loft conversion, nearly finished and signed off by the local building inspector even if it has been used as a bedroom for the last three years. The conservatory, well I’ve got the larch to construct that, even if it is still standing in a wood a couple of miles away.

 On the “ maybe doable” list is The Trike. This has been promoted on to the doable list from the just in his spare time list, as the result of a drunken £20 bet with an extremely capable Irishman. This then, fellow long suffering reader, accounts for lateness of other, more important projects ie. Windows and having to listen to moaning of draughts and heating bills etc. which are sure to start soon as the weather turns even though we’ve had plenty of dry weather ideal for window fitting!

 Then the “highly unlikely”which included a holiday cottage in Whitby. Now, obviously, I’m a woman with great patience and was thinking long term, but it’s all gone horribly wrong. The patience is out of the window and an air of desperation has set in. Why? Well last year on holiday we came across a quaint little cottage for sale, hardly touched since it was built approx 300 years ago. Nice views, not too bad a price, let’s have a look while we’re here. So far so good, we do this for a living (more on property blog later). So what went wrong? Something that’s never afflicted us before, we fell in love with a pile of stone that needs loads doing to it. This real pull is a totally alien concept. What normally happens is I view, Then send “other half” round to view to see if I’ve missed anything. I say what rent we can get then other half does sums and says yea or nay. Then it‘s either purchased or we walk away.

 So, immediately on arrival home I’m doing research and leave him looking at mortgages. The highly unlikely is almost within touching distance, but not quite. Nobody wants to lend on property any more even with a healthy deposit. Our disappointment knew no bounds as we really didn’t want someone to buy it and rip out its soul. Then a call from the agents saying it has been withdrawn. A stay of execution so to speak. Lots of dreamy talk of what could have been but that’s all it was, talk.

 About six weeks ago we receive a call from the agents that our beloved cottage is back on the market. I couldn’t bring myself to torture myself to have another viewing ( I couldn’t even bring myself to walk down the street). But this time it’s just that little bit more doable so it’s been promoted to the maybe part of  THE LIST. So it’s really down to the mortgage lenders and whether they are going to start lending again so the country can dig itself out of the financial hole it found itself in. So watch this space, if the banks / building societies sort their selves out there might be a lot more content on the idostuff site and blog.

Fingers crossed, touch wood, saluting magpies etc.

Nearly 17 years ago I moved in with my other half. We had another child and though we had three bedrooms the house was a little top heavy, so with two young children and a dog, living space was in short supply.

My mum was living across the road in my family home with my brothers. She decided it was too big and expensive to run just for the three of them so offered to sell it to us. Now this was an opportunity not to be missed. Here was a house that I knew who had lived in it since 1950. My parents had purchased it when I was eleven years old and I had played in the, highly dangerous, old shop / front room from being a very young child. I couldn’t bear to think of it being sold outside of the family, it was a fantastic house to grow up in and we wanted our children to have the same opportunity, so our house went on the market.

The market was a little slow, but we soon had an offer. Solicitors engaged searches done etc. Mum had found a house she wanted to buy so all hunky dory so far. Then the woman withdrew her offer, no reason offered, no negotiation, no house move. Gutted.

Now I had had a very inspirational teacher at primary school who taught us many things, which I’m pretty sure weren’t on the curriculum. He explained about inflation and interest rates and how the banks worked and how sometimes you could beat the banks by investing wisely eg. Property. This stuck in my 11 year old brain and never left it, probably also strengthened by the fact my parents had bought wrecks and done them up.

So here we were house on the market and wide open to the whole dizzying rigmarole again. I suggested that maybe we ought to be proactive and take control of the situation, that way we wouldn’t be losing most of the money we’d already spent on fees. After a lot of thought (other half being the more sensible / cautious one) he let himself be talked into it. I’m not saying it was an easy option, it was a little bit frightening but we’d done the sums and were sure we could do it, but it would need us to tighten our belts, not going out at weekends for a while but we decided it was worth it for our and our family’s future.

So trips to the bank and permission from existing mortgage provider to let our property, we moved the whole 20 yards to our ideal family home. I’ll do more on what we’ve done either through want or nessecity at a later date. (you can see what’s not been done on the idostuff site)

A few years later a house across the back lane came onto the market. My heart sank, we’d had lots of trouble over the back lane in the past and we didn’t relish the prospect of going through the whole rigmarole with new owners. Then a solution appeared, we needed more space for storage (other half had rapidly outgrown the garage as not only does he do stuff, he buys it as well)and we could stop any land disputes ever happening again. So we viewed on the morning of my brother’s wedding, the sums seemed to add up (vendor wanted a quick sale) so that was property number 2.

Another two houses soon followed,all houses have very happy tenants who all seem to want to stay put.

Now, the exciting one. We didn’t intend buying another property but an absolute bargain came up. It was to be sold at auction. We’d never even been to an auction before but we knew if we could get it at the right price it was a no brainer as it had four bedrooms, which are like hen’s teeth in this village. Auction night soon came, we’d set our limits and were living in hope. As the lots were sold our hearts started thumping as our lot got nearer. Then it was our turn, one bid and the hammer fell. All over before we’d had time to draw breath. So that’s how we came to get number 5 (and in all fairness that’s part of the reason I’ve still no windows in).

For what is about to be revealed, I am truly apprehensive.

The first posts will be added shortly.

So far the iDoStuff project has served its purpose really well. There were two main goals.

1. To give a web project to work on and learn from. Yes I have learn’t a vast amount and now have a valuable set of skills I can use in my day job.
2. To see if it’s worth providing information others might be interested in. Yes it’s good to share and Yes the adwords income is covering more than just the finacial costs.

I have neglected the site for many months. But I can see there is so much more I could and should be doing. The main thing being more content. Content is king, as they say even if it is time consuming to put together. If it’s good original material, word does soon spread .

What I do need to do if think about, is how I can get the content together more efficiently. I’ve sat today and written 2000 words today in about 4 hrs can I some how speed this up? It still needs posting and pictures adding. Is there technology I can employ ? I shall investigate.